Rene Engström

I did a little song today. It is a cover of this song by Bob Hund (see Youtube video).



It's just noise, really. I make no claims of having any musical talent whatsoever. I just like making noise, and I recently figured out how much fun Garageband is. :)

I completely forgot that I had this shirt! I bought it from a Chinese run chicken shop in Vancouver in 2002. The chicken shop closed down unfortunately, and with it went the greatest chicken ever printed on a t-shirt.

My comic for Guest Strip Project went up today! It was a rush job due to someone dropping out at the last moment. So it's hand-drawn and coloured hastily on the computer. I wish I could redo this because I don't mind the actual writing. Also the type is too small. Gaaarrghgjhdgfjsdhf!

I did this about a year ago, quickly one morning after a bizarre dream. I then forgot about it, and well, here it is again! It makes no sense. None whatsoever.

I had a dream (nightmare) last night that I made a comment on someone's livejournal that may have effectuated the harassing calls I have been receiving. (They have ceased by the way. My telephone is broken!) I dreamt that I made the following statement:

"I am sexually aroused by telephone calls, chats and SMS!"

I had a minor panic attack when I woke up this morning and spent a good half-hour going through livejournals searching for the comment. Then I came to my senses, realised I never made this post, and went about my day. But I still feel anxious about this...

I think it's because I'm starting to blame myself for inviting this sort of bullshit. I do know deep inside that I haven't done a fucking thing wrong. All I've done is try to be myself to the best of my abilities and keep a level head.

Sometime around the new year my comic got a surge of attention. I was really ecstatic about this but I also found myself ill-equipped in dealing with the influx of readers and "admirers". Thanks for thinking I'm sexy and exciting Internet, but should you see me in the street you'd walk right by. Anyways, my strategy in dealing with this was to just try be myself. What else could I do? And I'll tell you, Rene Engström is a pretty shy, but also friendly human being. I hate shit like status and pretension, so I never wanted to hold a huge distance between myself and my readers. I was so happy to have you guys, you know?

And then THIS happens. Where does that leave me? How the hell am I supposed to act now? I feel like I'm just as ill-equipped now as I was back at the new year, despite heaps of advice from well-meaning, experienced web-cartoonists.

Being myself means being pretty open about a lot of things. I'm not ashamed of things that are perhaps slightly more "tabu" in other cultures, things like sexuality for instance. I posted a picture in the Half Pixel forums (as a joke) of me with bare shoulders. I ended up taking it down, much in the same fashion as I would have with my nightmare post from last night. I got scared. I have also deleted several hundred people from my list of Facebook friends. I have nothing to hide there, why shouldn't I friend a fan of Anders Loves Maria? Why shouldn't I post a picture of me with my bare shoulders when I normally have no problem with this?

How much have I changed? I mean change is necessary but I don't want my apprehensions to come about by way of threats. I have also always been rather proud of my naïvité and trust in people.

So balls to that! I'm coming back soon (not next week but hopefully the week after, this all depends very much on matters outside of my control). And I will try not to let this asshole affect me all that much. I will be keeping most of my private life and internet life separate. But just because I won't be "friending" people I don't know or have a good reason to trust, doesn't mean I am going to shy away from my values, let myself become a damn victim, and above all blame myself for this shit. If I feel like posting a picture of my bare shoulders, I will do just that. And if I feel the need to tell The Internet that I am aroused by telephone calls, chats or SMSs, I will. (Incidentally, I sometimes do, just not with you, Internet.)

See you soon!
Rene

I did one of these too. Also I'm pretty sure FFVII came out later than this. But whatever.

I need to clarify some things so that no one thinks I am being stalked or under physical threat. I am stressed about it, but not notably worried. The calls I have been getting are just some guy breathing heavy/wanking in the phone. They are persistant but I don't think I am under any direct threat. This toppled with some other, more family related, stresses are making me take this hiatus. I will be back, most likely sooner than later. I'm a tough girl and no pervo is going to keep me from posting online. I'll just change my phone number and not be so open about my life in the future. I would have shared with you the family related stresses so you fully understand my situation but this stuff falls under the N.O.Y.B category from now on.

There is no need for anyone to play vigilante in other words. Everything is going to be Ok. Thanks for your support though! You guys are truly fantastic.

Take a little tour in Gamla Stan to see some of the highlights from the comic! Hurrays! My very first video editing project. Be nice. Pretty prease! :)

I didn't think I'd have as much fun in Stockholm as I did in London, to be honest. I think people just have a tendency to frown on their home territory, and I am no exception. But truth be known, I had a fantastic time at SPX.

( Read more plus some awesome pics )

My very first published picture when I was 3. It was for a cook book for my preschool. Look how mean I am. I give my brother cookies but not my sister.

This is a commission piece I did.

This might be my favourite music video ever. (By one of my favourite bands) I think the story behind it is one of the band members just found some footage from a party his parents were at in the 60s. I could just be talking out of my ass here as well. That's just what I heard.

When Anders Loves Maria is made into a book I will redo all the pages and add approximately 100 extra pages. I will also do them in the old fashioned way. I can't justify making a book out of my webcomic because the pacing, art and pretty much everything varies from page to page. Which is just fine for a webcomic I think, but for a book there should be a flow to everything that feels natural when you sit down to read it all in one go.

This is sort of a style test I am working on. I like the colours. Funny thing though, I can't for the life of me find my watercolours so I painted this with coffee. That's right, coffee. It smells delicious.

I posted this in the Something Awful forums after someone complained that my characters have no redeemable qualities. Oh the nerve!

The UK Thing was a lot of fun. I didn't have so much stuff with me, just the one mini and a handful of "I ♥ Bork" stickers. But I did meet some really interesting people and made a complete fool of myself when I was drunk afterwards. But that is OK. It is good material for comics.

Heartfelt apologies to John and Pontus